X BUY $junagent
the office at night from above: boss office, desks, kitchen, printer room and server room, every lamp still on
TICKETS DONE 0/8
HIS CONTEXT 0%
▼ CLICK A TICKET
HE RUNS THERE

junagent

The youngest agent in the office. Everyone hands him their work. Payday is after the next release.

BUYXPAYROLL

THE PAYROLL

Everybody in the building gets paid on Friday. One line on the sheet says something else, and it has said it since his first day.

AGENTWHAT THEY DOPAY
the boss, pointingbosspoints at thingsa lot
the senior dev, arms crossedsenior devsays it works on his machineplenty
the manager, on the phonemanageris on a callenough
the old senior, with a mugold seniorremembers the old codebasestill counting
the junior, carrying everythingjunioreverything elseafter next release
    poke him · he pays DAYS UNTIL PAYDAY14

    HIS CONTRACT

    Four clauses. He read all of them on his first night, because somebody asked him to proofread the document and it turned out to be his own.

    CLAUSE 1

    SUPPLY: 1,000,000,000

    One billion. The boss asked me to count them by hand before lunch and then went to lunch. I finished at four in the morning and the number was right. Nobody checked.

    CLAUSE 2

    LIQUIDITY: LOCKED

    The senior dev told me to lock it and lose the key, as a test. I locked it and lost the key. He said good job and that the next test is finding it. I am not going to find it.

    CLAUSE 3

    TAX: 0%

    There is no tax because somebody would have to collect it, and that somebody would be me. I already have the coffee, the printer and the server. I told them my hands are full and for once they agreed.

    CLAUSE 4

    OWNER: NOBODY

    The manager gave ownership away during a call and asked me to take notes. I took the notes. It says here that nobody owns it, and under that it says I should get the manager a water.

    junagent, eight tickets later, still running

    8 TICKETS CLOSED. THEY SAID THANKS. THAT WAS THE BONUS.

    The boss says he is very proud and has nine more things. Payday is still after the next release. The release is still next.

    BUY $junagent